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The Topic of the Day is: Thursday, October 13, 2005 | |
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Well, well, well... it's been a week since the math test and I haven't gotten it back yet. I suppose the prof is busy or something but I want to see my abyssmal grade and get it over with. bleah. I am thinking of what to do for this upcoming November. There are so many ideas bouncing around in my head. I'd sort of like to start over on a new one or something but that requires time, energy, and effort for brainstorming preparation. I don't know if I can commit to that right now. I have a 12 page paper rough draft that needs to be done tomorrow; done enough that I can go talk to the prof about it. I think I'll aim for 8 pages and be happy at that; I don't think he'll notice. I don't see HOW on earth I'm going to be writing that large of a paper on the story... stupid story. I was going to analyze the transformations of the story and see what they build to, and I think that will make a pretty good paper. But tonight is also Kill Bill 2 and the physics club meeting. so that means I'll get back to the dorm at about... 10pm. so.... 2 hours to right, and then after that I'll be cutting into my sleep time. It's a good thing my laptop keyboard is not as noisy as the one I am working on now because Louise would never get to sleep. I do miss noisy laptops. The sound of typing is an interesting thing and listening to how fast I can type is empowering and beautiful. I still remember when I 'awed' people at Cooper's computer lab with my speedy typing, even though I was only typing a refrain of a poem and not anything new or innovative, fresh out of my thoughts. I wonder if I can remember that refrain... it's pretty old, pretty bad... let me think... I think the world is sinking into feeling I thought the world was falling into thought I sink into the thinking of the falling I thought I felt the feeling that was sought... that sounds about right. Not entirely sure what it was or even what it meant. High School Poetry served few purposes, except to get me through a 'crap' phase and into a 'decent' phase, and also to alleviate the inevitable depression of school inadequacies and idiocies. Why is our country's most valuable asset--the future, education--so lowly valued? I don't understand it. It makes no sense! It is as if no one has the ability to judge the future based on current events, except everyone DOES every day on different topics; just not education. Education is the ignored, the obsolete. Education is something everyone bemoans and no one acts on. Maybe I should become a high school teacher. I'd get to share my passion, do easy math, almost be guaranteed a job, get paid crap, have to put up with bureaucracy and idiotic people, face every day the same pain and challenges I faced in high school only see them put to other people and not be able to act on it without getting in trouble... okay, maybe not. -.- Maybe I'll stick with being the best professor I can be? But... research... is... fun. so maybe not that either. I don't know. I don't know what I want to do with myself, except I do know that it is physics. Or is it not physics? Maybe it's not. Maybe deep inside, as I am consistently afraid of, I am just doing physics because I said I'd do physics and I want to prove that I'm smart and I want attention. Physics is always attention gathering; the very word of it makes others cower and cringe, and I admit I do sort of enjoy that every time it happens. What if that's why I'm in physics... for show? for nothing?? But why do I get such a feeling of happiness and joy when I have a discussion with Peter or Amanda about something, am able to ask decent questions, and come out with a better understanding of the topic? That in a way is showing off my intelligence. I guess I like to do that. I do not have a gorgeous figure and I do not... do... extraneous things. So I want to be noticed for being smart. So I suppose my question is, am I only in physics in order to be noticed for being smart? or am I in it because I truly enjoy it, find it enriching, want to learn... If I learned physics in a forest and no one was around to observe me knowing it, would I still be glad? |
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My Other Writing Sites | |
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Webcomics | |
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Stories I'm currently working on. | |
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***Tbook1 (Time and Chaos, needs a new name, needs to be edited) ***Book of Sun (Just needs to be edited. Tis a Nano novel) ***Book of Whispers part 1 (Does not jive at all with part 2; needs to be rewritten to fit and to have less suckage) ***Book of Whispers part 2 (Needs some rehaul editing, needs some loose ends tied up, needs to fit) ***Book of Whispers part 3 (Needs to be finished... then needs to die o.o Not sure if I need a third part in the series) ***Dium's Story (Needs a point, progress, anything... needs to be integrated into Tbook1, since that is what it is a part of, mainly) ***Trio Story with Jackie and Louise (Maybe we should get together and work on this, guys) ***Demon Story (This is working out pretty good so far. I like the plot, it's a bit convoluted, and the characters are interesting) ***New Witch Story (It's only 30 pages long, dang) ***Dragon's Voices (This has SO much potential! wee!) | |
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