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The Topic of the Day is: Friday, March 02, 2007 | |
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After many long (and distracting) discussions with a variety of people (Louise and my sister)... I must put some things down here from thought. I dislike responsibility at certain levels. I realize now when I rejected a manager's position at Culver's that it wasn't just because I wanted to dedicate myself to school work. I am a follower. I am a good, motivated, energetic follower, but I am not a leader. I dislike leading, I always mess something up and I don't like all the pressure. As a result, this helps me eliminate some of the multitude of job options I've been considering. I don't want to be a professor. It implies too much--managing a lab, classes, writing grant proposals, reviewing work, being the pivot around which all of a well oiled lab rotates. I could see myself as a teacher, maybe. The idea of lesson plans and having everything organized a head of time sounds a bit more than I might want. Maybe a professor at a small community college with no pressures. Also, at a national lab. This seems more feasible. It's employment, yes, with all the heinous bosses and deadlines that that implies; but it's also science, so that means thinking about things that do interest me and have applications. AND it leaves me (theoretically) nights, evenings free, weekends free, for life, for poetry and fencing, movies, books, and friends. See, that is the strange thing. Because writing, reading, poetry, fencing, movies, and things like that are important to me, vital to me, but they are not enough. I cannot just write all day. I mean, sometimes I can. But not forever. It just isn't sufficient. I get restless. I need to get out. So I need a job that allows me to keep those things, but simultaneously provides me with "other". I'm also struggling with why I lack motivation but am not satisfied. I am, indeed, dissatisfied with the majority of what I do, mainly because I'm too unmotivated about it to do a good or decent job on it. Writing, classes, even fencing--I feel a surge of adrenaline early on, but after a few weeks it fades away. Gotta fix that -.- Good luck, me! |
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My Other Writing Sites | |
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Webcomics | |
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Stories I'm currently working on. | |
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***Tbook1 (Time and Chaos, needs a new name, needs to be edited) ***Book of Sun (Just needs to be edited. Tis a Nano novel) ***Book of Whispers part 1 (Does not jive at all with part 2; needs to be rewritten to fit and to have less suckage) ***Book of Whispers part 2 (Needs some rehaul editing, needs some loose ends tied up, needs to fit) ***Book of Whispers part 3 (Needs to be finished... then needs to die o.o Not sure if I need a third part in the series) ***Dium's Story (Needs a point, progress, anything... needs to be integrated into Tbook1, since that is what it is a part of, mainly) ***Trio Story with Jackie and Louise (Maybe we should get together and work on this, guys) ***Demon Story (This is working out pretty good so far. I like the plot, it's a bit convoluted, and the characters are interesting) ***New Witch Story (It's only 30 pages long, dang) ***Dragon's Voices (This has SO much potential! wee!) | |
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