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The Topic of the Day is: Saturday, September 22, 2007 | |
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Sunday: Productivity! (seriously amazing, I think I learned how to study and applied it for the first time in my life Monday: Angst! (unrequited love sucks, I think I may have been projecting my daydreams onto someone I know and then being disappointed whenever that faltered, plus I realized the significance and insignificance of being physically close to someone. Also, the Twin was angsty too so I felt bad) Tuesday: Homework, and more Angst! Productivity down in the morning, risen slightly in the evening! and finally, time with Twin = good! Wednesday: More Angst! Depression and fear about not being able to do good in school in the future! Wondering if my chosen path is the right one, if I am doing what I really want to be doing! Bawled at a TRIO Advisor, who was very encouraging, about all the things I should've been putting here but which I apparently do not (stressed out about school, achievement, ability, family, relationships, and weight/health). Evening led to a planning session with the Tutoring Services here in town, and feeling hopeful that success was within my grasp! Thursday: Productivity! I finished Astro homework, - 2 problem halves, and Quantum homework, - 2/3 of one problem. And all by 9:30 pm. I felt really good, powerful, mature. But I skipped SciFi Club and the rest of the week had made me inexplicably angsty and sad Friday: Diffuse! I did some work, hung out with Amanda, and ended up going over to Louise's house for Star Wars Monopoly, which was very entertaining. Cal + Louise late at night are really really really really really funny It's been weird. I think I'm on my way up from a down period, which is good, but that down period was really, awfully down. No black depressions for me or anything, but a pretty gray, diffuse, unpleasant zone. Lack of happiness. No, mainly despair. I wasn't sure if I could do what I was doing or even whether or not I should be doing what I was doing. ... lost. Without direction. Or rather, which a direction, but doubting such a direction. it's so easy to just keep going in the same direction. I'm okay with that. But it's harder to be okay with that when one begins to question one's direction. HOW DID IT ALL GET FIXED? well, basically, it's the friend thing again. I have these friends! it's so weird. But anyway, they gave me support, and encouragement, and helped me look at my own questioning in a different light. Or, in other words, they gave me my optimism back. I like it that way. |
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My Other Writing Sites | |
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Webcomics | |
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Stories I'm currently working on. | |
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***Tbook1 (Time and Chaos, needs a new name, needs to be edited) ***Book of Sun (Just needs to be edited. Tis a Nano novel) ***Book of Whispers part 1 (Does not jive at all with part 2; needs to be rewritten to fit and to have less suckage) ***Book of Whispers part 2 (Needs some rehaul editing, needs some loose ends tied up, needs to fit) ***Book of Whispers part 3 (Needs to be finished... then needs to die o.o Not sure if I need a third part in the series) ***Dium's Story (Needs a point, progress, anything... needs to be integrated into Tbook1, since that is what it is a part of, mainly) ***Trio Story with Jackie and Louise (Maybe we should get together and work on this, guys) ***Demon Story (This is working out pretty good so far. I like the plot, it's a bit convoluted, and the characters are interesting) ***New Witch Story (It's only 30 pages long, dang) ***Dragon's Voices (This has SO much potential! wee!) | |
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2 Comments:
So, even when you are in despair about work or school or life, failure or success or the future, it will be ok if you have friends? Because they make you feel cared for and happy. And that is why being happy is important. And for the first time now I can realize it.
It is interestingly true that friends help with despair. I can't say for sure if they dissipate it entirely. But they share part of the burden in a way. It's easier than carrying it alone.
by the by who was that?
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