 |
|
The Topic of the Day is: Saturday, October 04, 2008 | |
| w | w |
Still too crazy busy to write a real post. This is just a wave to say hullo and that I'm still alive. In New Mexico right now. Unexpected. There was a McNair conference down here and since it's a prospective grad school, I got the program to pay for me to come (wayyyy more expensive than I originally thought, though. woosh). The conference was.... average. It was interesting to be here alone; I was able to get more work done and I didn't feel sad or even left out. I dreamed here. Second most vivid dream after the ones with the trees. There was a wolf... I'm not Indian American. I can't have a spirit quest--isn't that cultural appropriation? if I take and I haven't suffered to earn it. That's not quite what I mean... but I can't just take the good parts of a society, the parts I like, and make them mine. It's not my society, right?... but there was a wolf. Went for a looooong drive today. I actually ended up sleeping through the much-acclaimed balloon festival (a pity!!), but I got up early enough to discover that not only was the VLA doing tours today, but the Trinity Site (where they tested the first atomic bomb) was open to the public. Both only happening twice a year, and both on the weekend I was here! JOY! so I drove. And drove and drove and nearly killed myself taking pictures (naw, I would've just blown out a tire on the rental car) of all the mountains and then drove some more. and some more. Holy Seven Gods, these places were out in the middle of nowhere. I got to go into White Sands Missile Range (ooo, military!) and then made it out to the Trinity Site. It was neat, but I didn't stay long. But it still put me to thinking. What kind of responsibilities do we as physicists (yes, even the astro peeps) have, and take on, when we pursue physics, and become interested in these studies? What do we own in our identity, and what is our accountability? Anyway, stopped for gas and headed off into the hills in the opposite direction to find the VLA. Damn, that part of the drive sucked. Every time I mounted a new hill in the car I almost went off road, looking for dishes. Good thing the road was mostly empty. Also, all the speed limit signs had been taped over with duct tape. EVERY. LAST. ONE. One of my potential advisors had mentioned a "Socorro Speed Trap" but hadn't elaborated, and I spent the whole hour trip worrying that I was going to get whammied with a speeding ticket. The VLA was.... cold. and in some ways awesome. I wish the tour had been more for scientists, though I did get to ask a lot of questions and take lots of pretty pictures. And if I had been there alone, it might have been perfect. You have all this vast, vasty empty space, miles and miles of this sandy scrubby brush land that disappears into the blue shadows of mountains on all sides, and here and there the white, alien structure of a dish (they were in A-configuration, so very spread out). The wind slapped the plateau and the sky gathered fistfuls of dark clouds. It even started drizzling. I wanted to be alone with the wild, painful beauty of it, to touch the cold metal of the telescopes and blink back tears as they whirred and arced across the sky. But there were people, and all I felt was a stubborn movement away from them. Maybe if they'd been willing to talk to me, to share in that wild, ridiculous joy--but they were in their groups, and I was alone. In some ways I may have fallen in love with New Mexico. MOUNTAINS. Ridiculous. They're not... they don't scrape the sky, they don't prop up the clouds. they aren't touched with snow, they don't fill my vision, they don't cast a shadow across the land. But they are so large that they are intimate, closer than they should be. Like you could dig your fingers into their sides and take a handful of dirt. And you almost reach out, and when you do you find out they're still miles, miles away... it's ridiculous. But they're beautiful. Like someone cut a shadow out of the early morning sky. And when the rain came, in the late evening, and pulled its curtain across their faces, I wanted to be there in the downpour, at the place where the mist and the rain became one, part of the dust and the ways in which things are obscured. I don't know. It's beautiful. But maybe it's only because it's new to me? I don't know if I can see myself going to school here. Good thing I don't have to decide yet... peace be with you peeps. Labels: Grad School |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My Other Writing Sites | |
|
 |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Webcomics | |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stories I'm currently working on. | |
|
|
***Tbook1 (Time and Chaos, needs a new name, needs to be edited) ***Book of Sun (Just needs to be edited. Tis a Nano novel) ***Book of Whispers part 1 (Does not jive at all with part 2; needs to be rewritten to fit and to have less suckage) ***Book of Whispers part 2 (Needs some rehaul editing, needs some loose ends tied up, needs to fit) ***Book of Whispers part 3 (Needs to be finished... then needs to die o.o Not sure if I need a third part in the series) ***Dium's Story (Needs a point, progress, anything... needs to be integrated into Tbook1, since that is what it is a part of, mainly) ***Trio Story with Jackie and Louise (Maybe we should get together and work on this, guys) ***Demon Story (This is working out pretty good so far. I like the plot, it's a bit convoluted, and the characters are interesting) ***New Witch Story (It's only 30 pages long, dang) ***Dragon's Voices (This has SO much potential! wee!) | |
|
|
|
|
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home